Silently, Learning...

I closed my eyes as I tried to numb the pain with my mind. I stifled a sad laugh as I told myself that my eyes would not shut out the pain as the whip lashed into my back one more time.

I had learnt not to cry, even as I felt blood sip from where I had just been whipped, I tried my best to keep my head strong.

“You filthy slave.” My master called out “You are never to show your face where I have guests again.” He said as the whip hit my skin again.

I looked into the faces of the other slaves as they watched, silently learning their lessons.

By now, you must be wondering what I did to deserve 32 strokes of the thorned whip. Right now, I felt religious as I thought of what Jesus must have felt like when he received his strokes almost two thousand years ago. Give or take a couple of hundred years.

My crime? When you think of it, it wasn’t really my fault.

Being a curvy, well endowed, beautiful, black woman was not my choice, not that I’m complaining. I often attracted the stares of many of my master's guests, that’s why he always had me serve the living room because I was “worthy to look at”, as he would say.

But today, as the prime minister’s son, who was also my master’s daughter’s fiancé, visited the estate for the first time. My master did not anticipate two things.

One: the fiancé was one of the few people who had pity on the slaves, “negro-lovers” as they were called.

Two: that the fiancé would decide I was more worthy to look upon than his daughter.

The prime minister’s son, Gabriel, was an attractive white man. He had ignored the master’s daughter, Helena, all night but had his eyes fixed on me, observing everything I did.

He also offered to help me serve a couple of times as well as keep me company. Crazy boy, didn’t he know what kind of trouble he was going to get me into.

He also complained to my master about how old and untidy my uniforms were and objected whenever the master raised his voice at me.

At the end of the night Gabriel had offered to walk me to my bunker and spend time with me and the other slaves, “Get to know us” he explained.

He still came despite my objections, stubborn as an ox, he was.

There were mixed feelings in the slave quarters about Gabriel’s presence. Some were scared, some were excited, some were hopeful to speak their mind and others were simply waiting to complain about how we were treated.

I finally managed to get some sense into him and urged him to return to his hosts…which he reluctantly did saying the whites were pompous and boring but the slaves were alive and fun.

“Run away with me, we could start family together, away from all this.” He said as we reached the kitchen entrance to the master's house.

 I laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of his request. “My family, everything I have and everyone I know are here. Surely you realize you are asking too much of me.”

“I will leave my family for you.” He said.

“My mother warned me about men like you.” I said.

 He bent down and kissed me lightly on the lips, “This isn’t over.” He said.

When the lights were out, my furious master stormed into the servants quarters and dragged me out of my bunker. He pulled me outside and stripped my clothes off my body. It was my punishment for catching Gabriel’s attention.

He called out all the other slaves to watch my suffering, my embarrassment, my nakedness, my humiliation. He told them to watch and learn from my mistake.

I screamed out in pain as the whip slashed my back again. Snapping me out of my reverie.

 I saw my mother’s face wince as he lifted the whip again. I felt bad for her, it must have hurt her to see her daughter flogged in this manner.

I saw as other older slaves held my father and my brothers back. I agreed. It was my mistake not theirs, no reason for them to get into trouble on my behalf.

My little sister was probably still asleep in the servants quarters’. I was happy that she didn’t get to witness this.

Before Gabriel finally left that night, he put his hand around my waist and whispered to me softly. He had promised to save my family and I from this terrible place. He promised me a better life. All I ever wanted, away from my master’s care. Then he kissed me again, this time with more feelings, more vigor, more promise.

As the whip scorched my back again, I couldn’t help but wish, attempting to send a silent prayer to Gabriel  “Why, can’t you come now?”

I looked at the faces of the quiet slaves again as the whipped lashed my back one more time. They all stood shaking their heads, watching me, learning from my mistake...silently.